STEPS TO RECONCILIATION: TRUTHTELLING, LISTENING AND FORGIVING

 

STEPS TO RECONCILIATION: TRUTHTELLING, LISTENING AND FORGIVING 

(Sermon by The Rev. Canon Dr. Winfred B. Vergara at Grace Episcopal Church, 155-15 Jamaica Avenue, Jamaica New York last February 12,2023. Text: Matthew 5:21-37)

God be in our minds and in our thinking, in our hearts and in our feelings, on our lips and in our speaking. In the name of God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.

There was a gigantic asteroid hurtling from outer space towards the earth. Once it makes impact, the world as we know it would be gone and the whole human race would be annihilated. An emergency meeting was held in Jamaica, Queens, New York and ministers from various denominations shared what they would preach as their final sermon.

The Baptist pastor said, “Brethren, I am going to preach on John 3:16. Nothing could be more urgent than to tell people that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever lives and believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.” The Roman Catholic priest said, “I will preach on Matthew 16:18. Nothing could be more urgent than to remind people “on this rock, Christ built His Church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” At this time, all eyes were turned to the Episcopal priest. “Reverend Canon Doctor, from what Bible chapter and verse would you preach from?” The Episcopal priest calmly replied, “Friends, I will check the lectionary!”

By the way, to those who are unfamiliar, the lectionary is this four-page insert in the bulletin. It is a set of readings clipped from the Old Testament, the psalms, the epistles and the gospel designed for Sunday worship in a three-year cycle ABC. The readings are combined to form a coherent unit. If you come to church every Sunday without fail, you will hear the Bible read in three years, the whole counsel of God.

So the Gospel reading in today’s lectionary is from Matthew 5:21-37 which gives us guidance on the subject of Reconciliation. Jesus said, “When you are offering your gift at the altar and remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift before the altar and go; be reconciled with your brother or sister and then come and offer your gift.”

I am wondering that if we take this very seriously, how many of us would leave and how many would stay to continue the service.

Reconciliation is not an easy task. We live in a world that is so fragmented. We live in a society that is so polarized. And we belong to a church that is so deeply divided. There are around 80 million Anglicans worldwide and our voices are neither united nor harmonious. And yet if we must be Christians and true disciples of Christ, we must also become agents of reconciliation. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5:19 “God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself and He has given us the ministry of reconciliation.”How do we reconcile people to God and to one another? The Bible gives us three steps in reconciliation: Truth Telling, Listening and Forgiving.

A. TRUTH TELLING

The first step in the work of reconciliation is truth-telling. As in being  credible witnesses in the courts of law, we are to to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Jesus said “let your yes be yes and your no be no.” We are not to sugar coat the truth, we are not to exaggerate the truth, we are not to embellish the truth. We are to tell the truth.

Now in age of lies and scams, where fake news, alternative facts and conspiracy theories are being peddled daily in social media, it is not easy to sift the truth. But as the saying goes, “you can fool some people some of the time, you can fool all people some of the time, but you can’t fool all people all of the time.” There is a time, there is a moment when the truth will come out, no matter how much you cover it up.

So we are to tell the truth always in love but even when the truth hurts. This is the reason for teaching Black History from the perspective of the Black people. This part of American History maybe painful to the white people who created and operated slavery, segregation and racism but it must be told because the truth will eventually set us free.

Five years ago, I was in Montgomery Alabama and visited the Museum of Peace and Justice, otherwise known as The Lynching Museum. It was horrifying to see the exhibits of African slavery. In U.S. history, Black people were treated as sub-humans being sold and bought like commodities; African slaves being lynched to death even by the simple act of looking at a white woman. And it was even incredible to know that the Church had become complicit in the Slave Trade. Some Christians became slave owners themselves and some Christian institutions had profited from the slave trade.

Thank God that we have awakened from this historical nightmare of injustice and have been correcting the wrongs of the past. The Rev. Absalom Jones, the first African American priest was one of those slaves who suffered a lot but by God’s grace obtained his freedom and became a stalwart in the anti-slavery movement. But if you extend this truth-telling to the Indigenous People who suffered a great deal from the European Doctrine of Discovery, you will also be horrified by the Trail of Tears, by the massacres of Native Americans and the destruction of their primal cultures. For the Asian Americans, there is the history of the racism against Asians which included the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882, the Anti-Miscegenation Laws against Filipino farm workers in the 1930’s, the Japanese Internment Act of 1941 and the racist violence which continues even today.

So the truth-telling must continue. Like surgery, you must open the wound to remove the cancer that causes the pain and be able to apply the antibiotic that will prevent infection of the whole body. Jesus said, “And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32)

B. LISTENING

Reconciliation in the Body of Christ involves careful listening. There is a natural reason why God created us with one mouth and two ears—so that we may speak once and listen twice.

Compassion is the other word for listening and the way of compassion is being is being sensitive to others. Who can ever fathom the depths of pain and suffering of people in Turkey and Syria devastated by the recent earthquake? Who can ever fathom the depths of pain and suffering of the people in Ukraine and other countries ravaged by wars? The Psalmist cries de profundis:out of the depths I call on you Lord, O Lord, hear my voice!

In India, there is a saying that you will never know what someone is carrying until she is bumped. It gives the image of a woman in the village carrying a jar on top of her head. Nobody knows what’s the content of the jar: it maybe milk, it maybe water, it maybe sugar, it maybe grains. Now there were children playing and one of them bumped the woman and the content of the jar spilled. Now everyone knows what she’s been carrying.

My friends, we can never know the burdens ordinary people are carrying except in relationship. And we can never lighten someone’s load until we bear the pressure in our own soul. That is why Jesus warned us against being judgmental. “Judge not and you will not be judged.” Before you say one thing, listen twice.

When I was eight years old, my mother and father almost separated. They had a fight and the main issue was money or the lack of it. We were six children in the family and they worried how to send us all to school. My father was a war veteran but he did not receive a pension because after the liberation of the Philippines from Japanese occupation, he was to be sent to the Korean War but my Mom prevailed for him to remain. For defying military orders, my father did not receive his pension. He was asked to kowtow to some politicians but he was highly principled and would not do it. My Mom however took is as pride and blamed him for our poverty. The arguing became so heated that my Dad decided to leave. He packed up his luggage and hurried to the waiting shed to catch a bus. I followed him. Thank God that the last trip of the bus was gone and he had to wait for the first trip after midnight. With tears in my eyes, I asked if he could really afford to abandon us. He kept silent and for a couple of hours, we just sat down together, like listening to each other’s heartbeat. Then I picked up his luggage and said, “Dad, let’s go home.” Looking back at it, now as a priest (and husband of only one wife for the past 45 years), I must say that my parents’ marital conflict was the first of the many works of reconciliation I have done. James 1:19 says “let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” Those who have ears to hear, let them hear.

C.  FORGIVING

The third and final step in reconciliation is forgiving. Jesus said, “forgive and you will be forgiven.” Psalm 66:18 says, “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.”

Forgiveness is a gift that keeps on giving. Because God has forgiven us, we can forgive. But that act of forgiveness must come from the heart. Jesus sets a higher standard for those who follow Him, “unless your righteousness exceeds that of the Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” The law says you shall not murder but the moment you harbor anger in your heart, Jesus said, you already committed murder. The law says you shall not commit adultery but the moment you harbor lust in your heart, Jesus said, you already committed adultery.

Jesus came not to abolish the law but to fulfill it and He fulfilled it by digging at the root, the spirit of the law, which is love. “You have heard that it was said, “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” but I say unto you, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you and pray for those who persecute you.” Mahatma Gandhi said that when we continue to live with the law of “tooth for a tooth and eye for an eye,” we will soon leave this world toothless and blind. And so if we must become agents of reconciliation, we must learn to forgive and teach others what forgiveness really is.

One of my most admired clergy was the late Jaime Cardinal Sin. He was the Roman Catholic archbishop of Manila in the 1970’s and 1980’s. He was  instrumental in the restoration of democracy in the Philippines after being in martial law for 20 years. When he became cardinal, the Vatican asked if he would like to change his name but he refused saying, “Isn’t is that Jesus came into the world because of sin?.” Whenever clergy come to visit the  Archbishop Palace, he would jokingly said, “Welcome to the House of Sin!”

Well, he told a story that when he was still a bishop, he served as spiritual adviser to a group of nuns having a prayer retreat. One of the nuns came to him and said, “Your Grace, I have seen Jesus!” Bishop Sin was incredulous and said, “Sister, how many days have you fasted?” The nun replied, “Your Grace, I have not eaten for the past three days.” He replied, “Well, if your stomach is empty, you’re bound to see visions; so you better drink some milk and get back to praying.” The nun drank milk and went back to her prayer cell but after an hour she returned, “Your Grace, I saw Jesus again.” The bishop said, “Ok sister the next time you see Jesus, ask him if he remembers my sins from the time I was a child up to the time I became a bishop. If you can give me the answer of Jesus, I will believe you.” So the nun went back praying and after an hour, she came back and reported, “Your Grace, I saw Jesus again and this time I asked him if He remembers your sins from the time you were a child up to the time he became a bishop.”  “And what did Jesus say?”  Bishop Sin asked. The nun replied, “Your Grace, this is what Jesus said: what I have forgiven, I have forgotten!”

My friends, to really forgive is to forget the past as if nothing had happened. Like it’s a brand new dawn, it’s a brand new day. The old has passed away, the new has come. Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. Many so-called reconciliations, especially in family relationships do not last because the past is simply covered and not forgotten. When your spouse makes a new mistake, you will recall all the other sins of the past.

In Matthew 18:21-22 Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how often should I forgive my brother, seven times?” Jesus replied, “Not seven times but 70 times 7!” Wow! Seven is perfect number in Hebrew numerology but 70 times 7 is beyond perfection---it is infinitesimal.

My friends, the task of reconciliation is not easy. But if we learn to tell the truth, if we learn to listen and if we learn to forgive, with God’s help, we can do it. Amen.